I don’t know where to begin except to say it feels like I got from there to here in the blink of an eye. I’m not really sure when I started drinking but I am very aware of my excuse to. I was sexually abused from the age of five til twelve. I harbored this secret until I was fourteen. I didn’t want to break up the family, you see. My grandmother had just passed with whom I was very close. I was the only granddaughter. I decided to tell. Things changed very rapidly. We stopped visiting the family’s house where it happened. It was an every Sunday thing. I went from straight A student to barely passing. Thus began a string of shrinks and rehab stints.
I ended up marrying a guy I met while in high school. I was 16 and he was 20 when we met. We were together four years total in an abusive relationship, both mentally and physically and were married only nine months. No children, but I had a small starter house – my parents still co-signed for me back then (that eventually became the party house).
Believe it or not, I didn’t really start to “drink” until after we divorced. Then it was on! I got the house and hadn’t been single in what I thought were my missed-out-on years. I have to say that that began an almost 20 year binge that is now starting to catch up with me. I’ve lived and worked in four different states and the only common denominator I have in all of them is King alcohol. I was married again twice more – both alcoholics, had my heart broken ten times more than that. And now I’m sitting here in this jail cell wondering “how did I get here?” Believe me, I know, though, and I’m tired.
I wound up here because I seem to always have to learn the hard way even after I’ve learned the hard way.
This dream has been woven into her magazine purse:
We all dream. Most of mind are gone by the time I wake up – just like a lot of people, I’m sure. The one that isn’t is pretty consistent. My dream is to one day stop running, be still, and finally appreciate the beauty all around me. DreamWeave has given me a glimpse with people interaction, learning a valuable new skill and reminding me that I can still create something beautiful without alcohol or drugs.